Big Bang Theory Star Candidly Discusses Miscarriage

Melissa Quote

Melissa Rauch, who plays Bernadette on CBS’s “The Big Bang Theory, announced her pregnancy in a story for Glamour magazine that’s going viral this week. In the piece, she also reveals candid reflections about her own miscarriage and all of the grief emotions that have been taking place and the anxiety during her current pregnancy.

I’m so proud of her honesty and openness about such a sensitive subject because it’s something that needs to be discussed. In today’s society where everyone seems to idolize people on the TV and movie screens, sometimes it takes a celebrity’s story for the hard issues to come into the forefront and start a meaningful dialogue.

I hope more people out there read her story and understand how commonplace miscarriage and pregnancy loss is, even in the United States with all of our modern technology and breakthroughs of Western medicine. No one is immune to the heartache and pain. Miscarriage doesn’t discriminate and it can happen to anyone — your sister, your cousin, your college roommate, your idol from TV.

Congratulations Melissa (and husband Winston) on your pregnancy. I wish you all the best. But, Melissa, you’re already a mommy. Don’t sell yourself short. You became a mommy once you became pregnant, and no one can take that title away from you.

P.S. I sincerely feel really awful about tweeting my letter for TBBT production team to you months and months ago in my own grief. I still fall prey to the illusions that even in Hollywood miscarriage can’t happen.


A Letter for “The Big Bang Theory” on CBS

Dear “The Big Bang Theory” team and CBS,

I am a huge fan of your show. My husband and I have been devoted fans since 2007. You had us hooked from “The Middle Earth Paradigm” (episode six, season one) when Leonard (Johnny Galecki), dressed as Frodo Baggins from “The Lord of the Rings,” exclaimed to Penny’s (Kaley Cuoco) ex-boyfriend, “That’s how we roll in the Shire!”

My husband (and at that time still boyfriend in 2005) lured me into his Shelob-esque web by a marathon first date of watching all of the extended versions of Peter Jackson’s LOTR trilogy…in one weekend. Twelve years later, we are now happily married but I won the war of “Sting” (Frodo’s sword) no longer resting above our bed.

Needless to say, we’re a nerd family and we love the show and how you’ve made embracing one’s geekness cool. I’m a Whovian, Trekker (one of the original “The Wesley Crushers”), and pseudo-Disney princess. While Brett still man-crushes on all things Peter Jackson, and is a guest team member of Marvel’s The Avengers, and wishes he could take over the Iron Throne.


We have pint glasses that proclaim “Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty” and “Bazinga”. T-shirts that pronounce that our “mothers had us tested” (she really did) or emblazoned with the rules to Rock, Scissors, Paper, Lizard, Spock.  We obsessively quote the show on a regular basis, much to our family member’s chagrin.

I’m writing this letter today because it has become increasingly more difficult for me this season to watch the show. Why? Not because the jokes aren’t funny, Sheldon’s (Jim Parsons) craziness is just getting absurd, or the plots have just “jumped the shark”.

It pains me to tune in each week because I found out I was going to be a mother about two weeks before Bernadette (Melissa Rauch) revealed that she was pregnant in “The Valentino Submergence,” (episode 15, season 9), which aired on Feb. 11, 2016. At the time, I was ecstatic. My husband and I would be pregnant just like Howard (Simon Helberg) and Bernie would be. We could experience and laugh at the same scenarios just like our fictitious counterparts who also would become first-time parents. It was going to be great.

Then, April 26, 2016 happened.

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