Career Goals

061517_notebookwithheart

Brett and I were talking last night about career aspirations. I’ve been struggling with working from home the last year. I work for a virtual company (which I honestly love my colleagues) but I just don’t see them frequently. We generally only talk on conference calls or virtual meetings. If we do see each other, it’s once, maybe twice a year. Many of my clients are scattered all around the country so I also don’t have a lot of face-to-face contact with them. I do have a few clients in the Boston area but it’s a pretty well-oiled machine that I don’t have to drop-in very often, except for maybe some trainings here and there.

I try to work a couple of times a month from Starbucks or somewhere remotely just to have some sort of interpersonal communications with others. (If you see me, I’m that annoying person who’ll comment on the book you’re reading or ask you about the pretty colored beverage you ordered, just so I can strike up a conversation.) Because of this, I have been searching for new opportunities where I can work outside of the house because I can become so isolated and hermit-like just staying at home. There are times where I’ve gone 2 weeks without leaving the house.

Continue reading “Career Goals”

Interview About Our Karaoke Fundraiser

Brett and I were interviewed today by a Milwaukee radio personality, Dan O’Donnell. Dan happens to be a long-time friend of of ours, but also a former colleague of mine from back in my radio days. He’s since moved on to another radio station in town and I’ve completely moved on out of the journalism field into the nonprofit sector.

Tomorrow is the big day. Our last fundraiser before the big TEARS walk we’re participating in June. This is our Live Band Karaoke fundraiser I talked about here to help talk about pregnancy loss and let people know about support resources, both emotional and financial.

We’re excited about it and hope it will be a great turn-out. Since it’s a Monday night, not quite sure but hoping the weather will be kinda gloomy to force people inside.

The interview below aired on four different radio stations in Milwaukee today to help spark some new conversations about pregnancy loss and let a new audience know about TEARS. Take a listen…

A Different Kind of Mother’s Day

This weekend is Mother’s Day.

Last year, I was still numb and in too much physical and emotional pain to even care. It didn’t occur to me that friends from afar were sending me messages on that first holiday for me as a mother. I had nothing to celebrate because I didn’t think I was a mother. My baby was no longer with me. I still have difficulty believing that I’m a mother some days. But, I am.

mother's day

There are a lot of us “hidden” mothers out there. We don’t have living children alongside us. We don’t get the cheerful, handmade cards. We don’t get breakfast in bed with extra snuggles.

We watch from the sidelines all of the joy upon other moms faces as they get to embrace their little ones during brunch. We stifle back the tears so you don’t see the hurt on our face. We’re the mothers that are so often forgotten.

Continue reading “A Different Kind of Mother’s Day”

Reasons Why I Share Emmett’s Story

Some people wonder why I’ve been so vocal and willing to share our story about Emmett this year. There are several important reasons that I’ve made this decision. No, it’s not because I want to be that annoying person that is constantly filling up your newsfeed with dead baby stories.
 
Some of the reasons are:
 
1. It helps us heal. It validates that my son was real and that I will always love him no matter how much time has passed. I will never forget him or those few months that I carried him as a part of me. I don’t have much to remember him with, very few photos and only 18 hours of time to hold him next to me. I can never get those moments back.
 
2. I am 1 in 4. They say that 1 in 4 women will experience a pregnancy loss. I don’t buy it. It has to be higher. Unfortunately, the U.S. doesn’t record all losses. I’m still so surprised just by the number of women who have reached out to me with their own stories of loss in the past year alone. If you think you’re alone, you’re not. This is the hardest club you’ll ever be a member of. Period.
 
3. It’s helps others. My experience has helped others in the past year deal with their own losses and grief. While it’s painful to share, it’s also comforting to know that you’re not alone in this. There is always someone to talk to. Even if you can’t talk with your family or friends, there are support groups, mental health counselors and other resources available to you.
 
4. It spreads awareness. The sad truth is that not all pregnancies are successful and not all babies survive. I was naive to think that once we made it past the first trimester we would be ok and guaranteed to have a healthy pregnancy. That wasn’t true. By sharing Emmett’s story, I hope my honesty helps dispel this myth that is propagated by the media and we can shift the conversation to make this a less taboo topic to discuss.

Going Full Circle

Tomorrow starts the beginning of going full circle. It will be one year since we first heard the words “cystic hygroma” at our first ultrasound. Emmett had developed a large, fluid-filled cyst on the back of his neck, what doctors told us is usually caused by chromosome issues such as Down’s Syndrome, Turner’s Syndrome, etc.

We went from being perfectly elated hearing our baby’s heartbeat the first time and seeing a bouncing blob on a monitor to being completely petrified and devastated in the matter of minutes.

EmmettUltrasound

At that appointment, we were instructed to get a follow-up ultrasound later that week at a different medical center to see if the findings were true. They were… but the news got worse. The advanced u/s machine also detected he had developed fetal hydrops, a condition where his organs were filling up with fluid. This causes them to work much harder and in a fetus that can be difficult to do for a full-term pregnancy.

The chances of Emmett making it the full 40 weeks was going to be a long shot since he had developed the cystic hygroma and hydrops so early. The chances of him ever making it outside a hospital was even lower. The chances of him celebrating his first birthday, lower than that. There was also the risk that I could develop maternal hydrops, putting my health and life at risk. It was a lot of news and information to absorb in such a short time.

They gave us the option to end our pregnancy that day or wait it out to see if things would improve. We did the latter and it was the longest April of our lives.

Continue reading “Going Full Circle”

Video: An Update on Our Fundraising

Here’s our recent Facebook Live video to check-in on our walk fundraising:

Here are the links we mentioned in the video and how you can get involved:

All April: Emmett’s Birthday/Angelversary is April 26. Please keep us in your thoughts, send us texts, emails, calls, hugs, whatever. It really helps.

Walk Website (To join us on June 25 or to donate): www.crowdrise.com/emmettsolemates
Emmett’s name can be engraved on one of 3 memorials if we raise at least $500; the team at the walk with the highest fundraising total will be able to carry the Banner of Hope and start the event

Pampered Chef Sale (now through 11:59 March 31). 15% of sales and purchases of $75 or more will earn a free gift from Rhonda Dick https://pamperedchef.com/go/IMHEgV

Pure Barre North Andover – Sunday April 23 – Free Classes at 9,10:30 and 12 p.m. Register: http://purebarre.com/ma-andover/

Live Band Karaoke – Monday May 22 7-10 p.m. – If you can help volunteer (event planning, marketing, ticket sales, raffle ideas/items: please send us an email). Tickets will be available in April.

Our Story and Blog: https://missingemmett.wordpress.com/

Facebook Page: Missing Emmett

The Tears Foundation: www.thetearsfoundation.org/

Massachusetts Chapter FB Page: Massachusetts Chapter of The TEARS Foundation

Online support through a “closed” FB Group: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support – TEARS Foundation