Happy birthday my sweet baby boy.
I can’t believe it’s been 365 days since I held you. My heart has never loved another thing so greatly until it met you. I think of you each and every day. I still wish for all of the moments that were taken away from you, me and daddy.
I miss you with all of my being but I know you’re in a better place where you aren’t in any pain and nothing can hurt you. But, oh, how I wish I could’ve protected you from that.
There’s a whole world of family and friends that love you and who never were able to meet you. I hope you look down on them sometimes and see just how loved you are even though you’re so far away.
Your tree is starting to bloom. There are tiny little buds on it ready to blossom in the warm summer breezes ahead. Your Nana sent a cute little solar figurine of a little boy with a turtle that’s sitting under it now. Your Uncle Bumppo sent flower bulbs that me and Daddy will plant this weekend. Your fur brother Dakota sends the biggest cuddles and wet kisses.
Daddy bought a cupcake for your first birthday in heaven. We’ll blow your candle out tonight together and snuggle listening to Disney music for our little Mouseketeer. I hope we can see you in our dreams where I imagine you’re bouncing around and giggly, loving all that life has in store for you.
We love you Emmett. Always.
Here’s our recent Facebook Live video to check-in on our walk fundraising:
Here are the links we mentioned in the video and how you can get involved:
All April: Emmett’s Birthday/Angelversary is April 26. Please keep us in your thoughts, send us texts, emails, calls, hugs, whatever. It really helps.
Walk Website (To join us on June 25 or to donate): www.crowdrise.com/emmettsolemates
Emmett’s name can be engraved on one of 3 memorials if we raise at least $500; the team at the walk with the highest fundraising total will be able to carry the Banner of Hope and start the event
Pampered Chef Sale (now through 11:59 March 31). 15% of sales and purchases of $75 or more will earn a free gift from Rhonda Dick https://pamperedchef.com/go/IMHEgV
Pure Barre North Andover – Sunday April 23 – Free Classes at 9,10:30 and 12 p.m. Register: http://purebarre.com/ma-andover/
Live Band Karaoke – Monday May 22 7-10 p.m. – If you can help volunteer (event planning, marketing, ticket sales, raffle ideas/items: please send us an email). Tickets will be available in April.
Our Story and Blog: https://missingemmett.wordpress.com/
Facebook Page: Missing Emmett
The Tears Foundation: www.thetearsfoundation.org/
Massachusetts Chapter FB Page: Massachusetts Chapter of The TEARS Foundation
Online support through a “closed” FB Group: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support – TEARS Foundation
Today’s my birthday. 36. It’s kinda bittersweet for me.
Last year on this day, I received the best gift ever:
A positive pregnancy test.
I spent the morning last year at Pure Barre with one of my girlfriends. Then, Brett and I just relaxed for the remainder of the day with our happy news together. I was totally content and at peace with the world. Dreaming about the future with my little family.
Flash-forward to a year later and, last night, I found myself sobbing in bed on top of the dog. Just thinking about how this year’s birthday was supposed to be different. How I’m supposed to still have my perfect birthday present here with me. How I could wake up and creep into the nursery for some early morning cuddles with my little peanut.
Instead, the cruelty of life and reality sets in. I spent most of this past weekend in bed, sick with the flu, a temperature over 100 degrees, chills, cough and body aches. I had to miss a huge fundraiser for The TEARS Foundation that I was so looking forward to.
I’ve decided to take a little mental health break today and just be nice to myself. We had a lot of snow and ice last night. Schools are closed in the area. I’ve been awake since about 6 a.m. when Brett whispered “Happy Birthday” in my ear before heading into the shower. I can’t wait for him to get home.
Continue reading “Happy Birthday”