A New World

You’re going to feel uncomfortable in your new world for a bit. It always does feel strange to be knocked out of your comfort zone.

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MeBeforeYouI just finished JoJo Moyes’ book “Me Before You.” Probably not the best book to read when one is going through grief, but then again, I cry at every Nicholas Sparks’ book, too. So, I guess balling was just bound to happen.

Without spoiling too much of the novel, the story follows a 20-something Englander who has lost her job. She finds a six-month contract with a young lawyer who has become a quadriplegic due to a horrible motorbike accident. He now requires constant care and supervision. Their unconventional friendship and romance leads to heartache and, sadly, grief.

While the death in the story isn’t from miscarriage, the loss of a primary character is still tragic, raw and real. There will always be someone left to grieve. Someone left without. Someone who is in pain and trying to pick up the pieces of having to move on and having to continue to live.

This quote stuck out at me:

You’re going to feel uncomfortable in your new world for a bit. It always does feel strange to be knocked out of your comfort zone.

Grief is funny that way. One minute you are in your safe, little world. Then, BAM! You’ve been T-boned by an 18-wheeler going 80 mph on the freeway. Everything is in upheaval.

There are days where I feel like I will never be whole again, and others, where I feel like I can just grasp the aching threads of my past self but they just slip through my fingers. No one can prepare you for the heartache, the despair and the loneliness that grief will bring into your life. You have to meet that yourself.

You also have to find the light at the end of the tunnel on your own. Some days that can be easier than others, as well. This new life that I’m living is surreal in a way. There are some times where I just feel like I’m living a movie and I’ll wake and look down at my belly and be pregnant. But, I never get to the end credits. I never wake up. This is how that movie is going. It’s a tragedy but it doesn’t have to stay a tragedy. I have the power to turn it into something else. Something more.

“Me Before You” was just recently released as a movie starring “Game of Thrones” Emilia Clarke (total girl crush) and “The Hunger Games” Sam Claflin. There is also a sequel to the novel called “After You”.

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